My Tumbling Journal.

edoro:

Since I know this is relevant to a number of people following me right now, I’m going to repeat something I’ve said several times in the past.

If you are suffering from some kind of mental disorder, something that impairs your function, like anxiety or depression or dysphoria or anything like that, you’re not a bad person. 

You’re not a weak person. You’re not worthless, although I know you think you are. You are, in fact, so strong.

Think about it this way: You are suffering from something that makes your brain work against you. It makes you terrified of very simple things. It makes you terrified of basic interactions that society is built on. It makes you hate your body. It makes you hate your self. It makes you feel worthless and useless and unlovable. It makes you want to stop existing.

And every single day that you keep existing, you’re doing it in spite of yourself. You are actively working against your own mind in order to have even a semblance of a life.

That’s fucking hardcore. How many of you who are following me don’t suffer from depression or anxiety? Can you guys imagine doing that? Can you imagine having to literally fight with yourself every single day just to get out of bed and go out into the world?

What happens, what the disease in your brain makes you do, is that you compare yourself to people who aren’t suffering this way. You compare yourself at your very lowest to other people who are functioning normally or at their best. Because your brain is working against you and telling you you’re worthless, you compare yourself like you and those people who don’t have those problems are on the same level.

You’re not, though. They’re on a completely different level than you, and you have to fight and claw and grit your teeth and fucking drag yourself up to the basic level of function that they achieve without even thinking about it. You have to expend so much effort to do the things they do subconsciously.

So if your grades slip? If you have trouble socializing? If you have trouble getting up? If you sleep badly? If you eat too much? If you hurt yourself? If you cry over stupid bullshit? If you cry over nothing? If you feel empty and hollow and numb? If you get angry and sad too often? If you don’t ever want to do anything? If you DON’T do anything?

You’re not weak. You’re overwhelmed and struggling. You are, truly, your own worst enemy.

And it’s not your fault. And if anyone, including your own brain, tries to tell you it is, you tell them to shut the fuck up. A mental disorder is not a personal failing and it doesn’t make you worthless, broken, or useless. It makes you a person who has a problem and needs help, who deserves that help, because they deserve to be happy.

(via msdrbeat)